Hello, lovelies! ❤
Too often we get caught up in ourselves and forget to remember the small things.
My daughter just got her very first pair of light up shoes from a very dear family member. She loves this pair of shoes so much! Normally all I would do is thank the family member for the new pair of shoes and just go about my day worrying about what I need to get done next. However, this time I want to take a little more time out of my day to pay tribute to her new favorite pair of shoes.
It may seem odd to pay homage to a pair of shoes, but this pair of shoes has helped snap me back to what is important. My husband and I were binge watching “Orange is the New Black” last night – as this has become our Sunday evening ritual – and in one of the episodes it just finally clicked that I depend way too much on others to not only tell me what to do with my life, but to compare myself to.
I need to get back to my core values – first being family! It doesn’t matter what I look like or what I wear. What matters is how I feel and how my family views me – how my daughter views me. Her opinion – along with my husband’s – are the only ones that should matter. I’ve been letting family, social media, and even some experiences dwell too heavily on me with the end result being the same: I’m not happy and I lose focus of my family.
Who cares if I ever lose the baby weight I put on? My husband loves my body the way it is and it hasn’t caused me any health problems yet. Why worry about it when I could be focusing on my daughter who is growing up too damn fast? Who cares if there’s cool parties or concerts to go to? My mood is undoubtedly in it’s best state when I’m at home with my family.
The only point I’m trying to get across is that yes, it may seem selfish to just do what makes you happy, but in the long run if you’re happy it’s easier to be there for your family (i.e. significant other/spouse and children/pets). Too often I get caught up in “trends” and go “all in” and then get burnt out after a few days or a week. Not only am I letting these people who introduced me to these trends down, but I’m letting my family down.
I need to find balance. I need to stop going “all in, all the time.” It’s a vicious cycle and I have no idea where it comes from – whether it’s my ADHD, anxiety, stress or depression, but I need to figure out how to put a stop to it now. I am sick of always going in this circle of excitement over a new hobby, then the depression of not following through or sticking with it, to the guilt of letting everyone down. I need to do things for me and stop letting others down – mainly my family.
This post was originally written on October 3rd, 2016 – I did not feel that I was finished writing the post at the time, but now re-reading it today I feel it sums up things perfectly. Although, a lot has changed with me personally since I wrote this post, but it’s a good “bookmark” in my life. Next post on more recent things will be coming soon! Take care, lovelies! ❤