I’m not very good at this…yet

Hello my FABULOUS lovelies! ❤

It has been too long! I know I just shared a post I had written in October, but I feel like so many good things have happened since then that I need to share! I really want to utilize my blog for good to help people. Right now I have no idea what direction I ultimately want to go in, but I feel like opening up about my experiences with different things in life will help others somehow. I sense that my direction may be along the lines of mental health awareness and different coping methods for living day-to-day with a mental health disorder. I have always wanted to help people – even if it never really seemed like it – I did. I never knew how to connect or execute my help properly, though. Most of the time I’m just scared that I’m going to say the wrong thing or do something stupid and then not be able to help someone at all. I’m not talking about helping someone with chores or opening a door for someone because I already do those things (okay, chores I could work on a little more.) I just want to be there for people and help them with life in general I guess. Now, do not think I am trying to say that I am trying to be some “know-it-all” that is an expert at life because that’s not true for anyone. No one is a master at life – even if some people like to think that they are. The kind of help I am talking about is pretty much just being a good friend. I know in the past I have messed up and destroyed a lot of friendships, which I feel extremely guilty about up to this day. I wish I knew what I could do to fix some of those past friendships, but at the same time I can’t let that hold me back from moving forward and cultivating new friendships or “renewing” old friendships in a different way. I don’t know why, but I always feel like it is so hard to just strike up a conversation with anyone about anything. Honestly, if you left me in a waiting room without a phone, radio, magazine or other “distractions,” and alone with another random person for more than 10 minutes, I would literally starting sweating my butt off and start worrying about the deafening silence in the room. Then, it would probably turn into something along the lines of embarrassing “word vomit” about anything and everything that is on my mind in which place would probably make the other person nervous or want to leave. At least that’s how I see that situation playing out – I could be totally wrong.

In any case, I definitely want to use this platform to raise awareness of different mental health disorders because it has affected me for the greater part of the last ten years of my life. As I mentioned before it has been part of the reason for the destruction of many of my past relationships with friends and family. I’m not saying it’s the exact reason why because I was definitely in control of my mind and actions, so in hindsight I should have known better to not behave or react the way I did in many of those situations. I’m going to throw this out there now because I feel there is a stigma of what “crazy” looks like and to be completely honest I definitely do not like the words “crazy” or “psycho.” Within the past few months I have been diagnosed as having Type II Bipolar disorder. Many people have this disorder and it can some times be genetic. Patty Duke is a celebrity who raised a lot of awareness on this disorder as she had it, also. The late Carrie Fisher suffered from this same disorder, as well. There are many people whom you would never know were fighting this everyday battle (for lack of a better term) and to be honest most days it can be downright exhausting. I will definitely go into more detail about my experience with this disorder and hope to raise positive awareness on the issue, but for anyone who may be suffering from ANY illness (disease, disorder, disability, etc.) – PLEASE realize that there are so many people out there that are willing to help! Don’t try to take it all on yourself – I truly believe that the ultimate reason why we are all on this planet is to help one another. Not help others for a personal gain or benefit, but to help others with genuine love and compassion. Whether you’re spiritual or not, being decent and helping those who struggle just by being there for them could mean everything to someone. I can guarantee you’ll feel great about yourself, too, for helping someone other than yourself!

Until next time, stay fabulous and let life be fickle!

Toodles! ❤

Her First Pair of Light Up Shoes…

Hello, lovelies! ❤

Too often we get caught up in ourselves and forget to remember the small things.

My daughter just got her very first pair of light up shoes from a very dear family member. She loves this pair of shoes so much! Normally all I would do is thank the family member for the new pair of shoes and just go about my day worrying about what I need to get done next. However, this time I want to take a little more time out of my day to pay tribute to her new favorite pair of shoes.

It may seem odd to pay homage to a pair of shoes, but this pair of shoes has helped snap me back to what is important. My husband and I were binge watching “Orange is the New Black” last night – as this has become our Sunday evening ritual – and in one of the episodes it just finally clicked that I depend way too much on others to not only tell me what to do with my life, but to compare myself to.

I need to get back to my core values – first being family! It doesn’t matter what I look like or what I wear. What matters is how I feel and how my family views me – how my daughter views me. Her opinion – along with my husband’s – are the only ones that should matter. I’ve been letting family, social media, and even some experiences dwell too heavily on me with the end result being the same: I’m not happy and I lose focus of my family.

Who cares if I ever lose the baby weight I put on? My husband loves my body the way it is and it hasn’t caused me any health problems yet. Why worry about it when I could be focusing on my daughter who is growing up too damn fast? Who cares if there’s cool parties or concerts to go to? My mood is undoubtedly in it’s best state when I’m at home with my family.

The only point I’m trying to get across is that yes, it may seem selfish to just do what makes you happy, but in the long run if you’re happy it’s easier to be there for your family (i.e. significant other/spouse and children/pets). Too often I get caught up in “trends” and go “all in” and then get burnt out after a few days or a week. Not only am I letting these people who introduced me to these trends down, but I’m letting my family down.

I need to find balance. I need to stop going “all in, all the time.” It’s a vicious cycle and I have no idea where it comes from – whether it’s my ADHD, anxiety, stress or depression, but I need to figure out how to put a stop to it now. I am sick of always going in this circle of excitement over a new hobby, then the depression of not following through or sticking with it, to the guilt of letting everyone down. I need to do things for me and stop letting others down – mainly my family.

This post was originally written on October 3rd, 2016 – I did not feel that I was finished writing the post at the time, but now re-reading it today I feel it sums up things perfectly. Although, a lot has changed with me personally since I wrote this post, but it’s a good “bookmark” in my life. Next post on more recent things will be coming soon! Take care, lovelies! ❤

 

 

60 days!!

Oh my goodness where does the time go?! I can’t believe it’s been over 60 days since my last post!! I know I had goals to post weekly, but when I think more realistically about it I think that once a month or every other month might be more achievable. 

What’s been going on in my life:

We did not end up getting the house we were hoping to get in March, but we have since then found another one and are just patiently waiting to see how this one unfolds for us. Nonetheless crossing our fingers and praying it works out this time, too! 

April 18th I had to say goodbye to my “sister cat,” Jasmine, and it was bittersweet. She was almost 19-years-old so it was time, but it was hard to let go of her since she’s always been there for me. Hence the reason why I consider her a “sister.” We did end up getting two cats shortly after her passing because I needed the comfort and it was too empty without her here. We welcomed Cupcake and Peanut into our family and although they’re thought to be between 7 and 9 years old, they’re still a lot of fun and full of great love!

Other than all of that going on, we have just been working hard and doing our best everyday to keep moving forward in the right direction! Aside from realizing that I may only be able to post once a month or every other month, I have also been thinking that maybe I should just focus on sharing my life experience instead of fitness tips and whatnot. I may from time to time share things that I feel like I want to share, but I think my main goal now is to just focus on my experiences. I also want to do this because I struggle with depression, anxiety, and alcoholism, so I think it may benefit more readers if I were to talk about my experience with those parts of my life. 

Now you know why my website is my fabulously FICKLE life!! Haha!!

Thank you for taking time to read my post and I look forward to sharing more next month – or the month after – we’ll see what happens with this house. Feel free to leave some love in the comments below and subscribe to my blog so you can receive an update when I finally decide to post next! 😉

Fitness Tip Friday!

Good Morning, Lovelies! ❤

Did everyone have a good St. Patrick’s Day yesterday?? Hopefully no one got a hangover from drinking too much green beer, but in case you did then this fitness tip is for you!! 😉

WATER!!! Do you know how important and vital water is to our body? I feel that water is the best source of maintaining normal functions of the body, but there’s some great benefits listed in this article from WebMD. Basically, water is great at helping purify your body by flushing out toxins and signs that you’re thirsty to increase water consumption. Ever go so long without drinking water and all you can think (and salivate) about is a big, TALL glass of ice cold water?? Remember the refreshing feeling you get after obtaining that nice glass of water?? That’s one way your body shows that you’re dehydrated and need to refill.

You can also help your body maximize the benefits of drinking water at certain times throughout the day:

  • Drink 2 glasses of water after waking up to help activate internal organs. (I have also heard that drinking warm water can be better for you as it’s safer/cleaner, combats colds, and soothes aches and pains.)
  • Drink 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal to help aid digestion.
  • Drink 1 glass of water before taking a bath to help lower blood pressure. This includes hot tubs!
  • Drink 1 glass of water before going to bed to avoid strokes and heart attacks!

I’m sure you can find several reasons why consuming is good for your health, but always try to make it a goal to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. A better goal to set: drink half of your weight in water. For example, if you weigh 160 pounds, then you would need to drink 80 ounces of water – or 10 glasses of water. Simple, right?!

Follow-up on last week’s goal: I still need to work on going to bed earlier, so this goal still remains a priority goal this week. Mainly because we’re getting busier at work and I need my sleep to do my job well! 😉

My Weekly Fitness Focus Goal: Increase my water intake and shoot for drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day. I have my check boxes in my Life Planner! 🙂

Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to read my post! What do you think about my tip? Do you feel it can help benefit you? Let me know in the comments below! What kind of “mini-goals” would you like to set for yourself this week? 

Toodles! 🙂

Sunday Reflection (Patience)

Good evening, Lovelies! ❤

So, I was sick for the majority of this past week. Mainly from exhaustion because of waiting to hear back on our loan for our house, but now I’m wondering if it’s some cold that’s going around or if it’s allergies. Anyways, I stuck to my focus list from last week as best as I could, but I may have to repeat some of those this week. 😉

Today, while cleaning, packing and playing with our daughter I began to understand another type of patience that I am beginning to learn. I love being a mother and seeing our daughter grow and learn more and more everyday. I really cannot wait to find out what her interests and passions are! This is where the patience lesson comes in because I know it is going to take awhile for her to develop her interests and passions. Heck, she’s still only saying a couple words right now! But thinking about patience in that particular way helped me understand patience as a whole. Helped myself learn how to slow my thoughts down and remember that everything will come into fruition the way it is supposed to. Not a minute too early and not a minute too late.

It’s nice to finally get a better grasp on this important life lesson, so I’m hoping this method of helping myself “slow down” will stay with me from here on out – ESPECIALLY with this home buying process. It has been a LONG two weeks when we thought we were originally going to find out, but it has also been a long two months since we originally fell in love with this home! But we’ve survived the stressful anxiety for this long, so a few more days shouldn’t kill us! 🙂

This week I definitely want to focus on these things:

  • Life: Continue working on getting into a daily routine (thanks DST for the loss of an hour! haha!); continue cleaning and packing things up – need to “spring clean” the apartment regardless if we move or not!
  • Health: Continue “clean” eating with salads and breakfast smoothies; restart workout schedule; and continue taking daily supplements.
  • Blog: Continue with journal idea and begin thinking of a draft for monthly post.

Thanks for taking time to read my post! What does your focus list look like this week? Were you able to relate to anything I shared in my reflection on patience? Feel free to share any thoughts you may have about my post in the comments below. Also, to receive updates, sign up to follow my blog!

Toodles! 🙂

 

Fitness Tip Friday!

Good Morning, Lovelies! ❤

I suppose I should start each of these posts with a friendly reminder that I’m not a doctor or medical professional and these fitness tips are just based solely on my own experience! 🙂

So today I would like to give you a tip about SLEEP!! More often than not I do not get as much sleep as my body requires (mainly from spreading my time and energy too thin). However, each and every day — especially when I’m sick — I remind myself how crucial it is to get my shut eye!!

Off the top of my head I know that sleep helps not only keep your immune system in check, but it also helps when you’re working out and exercising a lot. After reading this article, “Why is Sleep Important?,” on the National Institutes of Health (NIH) website, I realize how tremendous of an impact sleep has on my overall wellness! Sleep benefits you in more ways than one including your mental and physical health, as well as your quality of life.

My husband and I can definitely tell when one or the other has not gotten our quality amount of shut-eye the night before. Although, we are aware of this and know that we need to improve this part of our lives, it tends to be difficult with different work shifts and a little one in the house. However, we do the best that we can and that’s all you can really do with any goals you have in life. You want to try your best and make sure you stay consistent when following through with goals you set.

My Weekly Fitness Focus Goal: Over the next week, I hope to try going to bed at least 15 minutes earlier than I normally do. Then gradually another 15 minutes earlier until I achieve my ideal “bedtime.”

Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to read my post! What do you think about my tip? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments below! What kind of “mini-goals” would you like to set for yourself this week? 

Toodles! 🙂

Sunday Reflection (First “Official” Post)

Hello, lovelies! ❤

Over the past week I have grown to learn more about my blog and kind of how I would like to utilize it. If you saw Friday’s post, then you know that I would like to do weekly fitness tip posts every Friday. I also thought it would be nice to do a reflection on my week every Sunday, along with a short focus list for the upcoming week. Other than that, I feel that I may only have one or two monthly posts that will probably vary on the topic.

As for today, I was relaxing and spending time with my daughter when it hit me (yet again) that I need to do more of that – enjoying the moments that are here and now right in front of me (not on my phone!). I need to stop spending so much time worried about things that are out of my control. Friends and family have told me time and time again that you are only in control of your thoughts and actions, no one else’s. One thing I notice about myself (and have for the past two years) is that every time I reach a point of balance and contentment it’s as if my mind can’t handle it. When this happens my mind starts to slowly spiral out of control and generate a whole list of new projects and ideas that I should take on. Now, some of these ideas have made a great addition to my life, but others have not. What I’m trying to get at is that the most important part of my week should be spending time with family because that is the thing I treasure more than anything. I also recognized that all too often I spread my time and energy way too thin because of all the new projects I jump into. So, onto my focus list this week:

  • Life: Work on getting into a daily routine to help with prioritizing and time-management; keep up with cleaning; and start packing things up (hopefully!)
  • Health: Keep improving eating habits (“cleaner” foods); keep exercising daily; and keep taking supplements daily
  • Blog: Start keeping a journal to help keep thoughts and ideas for blog posts organized and together

Thanks for taking time to read my post! What kind of things are you wanting to focus on in your life this week? Do you relate to anything I shared in my reflection? Feel free to share any thoughts you have about my post in the comments below. Also, to receive updates when a new post is up, sign up to follow my blog!

Toodles! 🙂

Fitness Tip Friday

Yes, I am fully aware that this isn’t my “official” first post yet, but I wanted to start with my “Fitness Tip Friday” because over the past few months I have learned more about fitness and general wellness. I feel our health is the most important thing we need to pay attention to because if you’re not well, then what will you be able to do?? Therefore, every Friday I plan on sharing a little fitness tip to those of you interested in general fitness information. So here we go! 🙂

Getting discouraged too easily by your workout routine for the month? Why not trying to break it up a week at a time? My mother is always telling me to only take life “two week at a time” because I tend to overthink and dream about the what ifs down the road. So, the same could apply to your workout routine. Right now I’m doing a monthly ab challenge with a fitness group I’m a part of on Facebook and when I saw what we would need to accomplish by the end of the month I almost fainted!! However, it’s only March 4th, so I should not be worrying and overwhelming myself with what I need to do three and a half weeks from now. I should be focused on today’s workout and preparing myself for the next few days. Luckily, today is a rest day! 😉 (Doesn’t mean I’m not going to Zumba or do some other “fun” exercise today, though!)

Today’s Fitness Tip: Stay focused on the here and now. Break your goals (fitness & life) into “bite-sized” goals so as not to overwhelm yourself! (Stress doesn’t help you reach your fitness goals!)

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment below with how you stay focused and motivated on your goals! 🙂

Coming soon… (Unofficial First Post)

Hello, there!

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to check out my fabulous little corner of the world wide web! 😉

I am working very hard in between everything going on in my life right now, but hope to be sharing my first (official) post soon!

Until then, please feel free to share comments below as to what things interest and inspire you! I love hearing about other peoples’ interests! 🙂

Toodles!
-Ashley